Adieu

I have been blogging in my extremely undedicated, casual, intermittent way since I went to college. It first started as a way to chronicle what I was learning about horses, which at the time was varied & quite a lot of information. Most of this now sits in a back cave in my brain, waiting for some unlucky passerby to ask a random question. “What are those weird things on the horses legs?” *cough* Tom *cough* My mother’s answer was “To protect from ouchies”; my answer ranged from type of boots to conformational faults to current farrier practices. Tom only needed the former answer. I’m starting to feel that if I don’t get my butt in a saddle sometime soon, I’ll start to lose that treasure trove of information, so hard won through the years. Or worse, stop adding to it!

Then I chose to have a child & attempt to settle into the rhythms of farm life, so the focus shifted to the golden, giggly bundle I’d helped bring into the world. Eventually the post birth haze lifted & reality chewed on my butt for a while. It was long enough that for the first time in my life, I (mostly) voluntarily sought therapy. Most of what swirled inside me wasn't fit for the light of the Internet, cute stores & pictures of the Wild Rumpus aside.

Now there are more changes coming through on the south spring wind, more responsibility at work, a new apartment, cleaning out the old house, a longer commute, a partner in my life who also has stepped, so far willingly, into a step parent role. Which through my own experience is just about the hardest job in the world. At least as the new parents to a brand new baby, you can claim a blissful ignorance to what you are actually getting into. What do all those people full of stories & warnings know? You will be the best parent in the world & never put a foot wrong! As a stepparent, however, there’s no transition or slow ramp up.

In addition to all this & in the middle of moving, all the research & readings I’ve been doing about the fight over the New York Carriage Horses, Blue Star Equiculture, & Jon Katz has sunk into my sleeping brain & given me dreams, some of which I’m attempting to weave together into either a short story or a novel of some sort. NaNoWriMo, if I make it that far, will help with this, but in the meantime instead of writing down Kade’s most recent stories I’m working on this one, & so far it’s smoothly rolling out. This is a change from the struggle it sometimes is for me to keep on task with any story longer than a few pages, so we’ll see where it goes.

Blogging has put me in touch with a slew of random, amazing, awesome human beings; has comforted me when I felt awful, has left a way for me to keep track of Kade’s huge personality & rapid changes. But, as I learned from Aarene, we only have so many spoons per day, & I haven’t had any spoons for blogging in a long time. I want to practice writing stories, maybe try a writer’s group sans sunny yet still disruptive child, & seriously hunker down into exercising & fitting in saddle time. I just have to get moved first so the boyfriend stops quietly freaking out how much there is still to do to get my house empty & clean. Speaking of, anybody need some furniture, kitchen stuff, or books? Anyone? Bueller?

But most of all, I want to keep enjoying that giggly blonde kid, who right now wants to gift everyone in the whole city with Legos, their favorite Legos, with money from the bank, so everyone can enjoy putting Legos together with him.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch. ~Garrison Keillor